i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize