So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
