Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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