Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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