Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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