So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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