Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I did not marry a roomba.
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