so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
