Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This is not my ceiling
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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