Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
