Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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