i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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