Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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