Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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