I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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