If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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