I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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