carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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