Do you still have your period?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
