I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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