yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
