naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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