Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry dirkzea1 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(757): View more from Virginia

if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am

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(651): View more from Minnesota

So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.

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(207): View more from Maine

she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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(425): View more from Washington

i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like

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(229): View more from Georgia

College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant

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(425): View more from Washington

if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental

(501): View more from Arkansas

You gave him a bj, not a kidney

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(443): View more from Maryland

Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.

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