getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
