I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
