Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
