Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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