You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
