I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
