Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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