My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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