It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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