no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
