He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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