My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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