I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
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The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
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Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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