Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
