Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
