i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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