So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
