small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
