Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
did you just send me my own nude
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
