I can tuck mytits in my pants
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
