I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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