Tell her she can't have a vagina
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
