so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
