:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
