shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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