Tell her she can't have a vagina
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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