i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
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I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
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I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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