ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
