i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize