The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
