He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
3pm strippers are depressing
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
