I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
