Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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