Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
