garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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