I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
