Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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