a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I need a beard to bite.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
