When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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