Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
