I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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