i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
