dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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